I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
as a side note pls kill me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
