listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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