i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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