RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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