You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
