If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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