you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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