We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
