these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
