We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
