In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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