yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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