C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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