sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize