And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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