Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
