what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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