Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
