Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
