I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We talked him into tasing himself.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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