hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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