We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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