we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize