She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
