we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
