Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
