i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Send help, water and tortillas.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
