Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize