oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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