i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
