do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
