Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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