It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
