u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
