There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize