oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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