This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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