I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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