I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
