I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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