Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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