I bet he comes in French.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
