the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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