i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
