i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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