did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
