Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
