Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
