I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
