): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
