chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
