I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
