My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
