tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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