Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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