I intend to get homeless drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
