This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
