Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
