don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
