It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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