we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
