I heard we made out
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have tasted many bathrooms
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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