Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
