Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
