bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
