Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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