i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Barsexuality is the new black.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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