I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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