Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
