how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
