I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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