Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
