Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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