He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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