How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
