I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
