Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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